Serious Totally Not A Joke Fanfiction I Swear
by 1bluejay2u
Summary: Grell. Sebastian. And some (un)fortunate events with som (un)surprising endings. So sorry you're reading this. Really, so sorry.


Sebastian stared longingly out the large window in his big ass house.

The black-haired man sighed angstily, resting his sallow cheek upon his long, spindly fingers

As much as he tried to quell the feeling building in his chest, he could no longer deny the simple truth: He missed that red-haired alpha.

More than he had ever missed anyone before.

He wasn't particularly experienced in love, usually opting for short flings and hookups to avoid the hassle and heartbreak of it all. But as much as he tried to distance himself from Grell, he just couldn't.

Those crazed eyes. That wicked grin…

It didn't hurt that he had never had a lover pay such careful attention to his taint before. Grell would fit his whole ballsack in his mouth while stroking his member, laughing greedily as Sebastian spilled his seed all over his face.

But that wouldn't happen again. The black-haired man had made sure of that with his destructive behavior. He had pushed his ex-lover away, into the arms of a hotter, more fertile omega.

It was for Grell's own good, he told himself. After hearing what the red-haired alpha had said on the phone, Sebastian was the last thing he needed in his life right now.

And true love meant sacrifice (not to mention lots of taint play).

It had to be like this.

_**Grell's POV**_

The red-haired man stared at his phone, waiting for a notification.

_Oh, Bassy, _he thought to himself, _why won't you text me back._

Had he come on too strong? Had seeing him use his chainsaw to chop someone up been too much for the reserved omega to handle? Had he been a little too enthusiastic about playing with the black-haired man's balls?

It seemed Grell would never know, and that killed him.

One minute, things with Sebastian were going amazingly. They were laughing, being toxic together, angstily stealing each other's glances, and guzzling each other's cum. Bassy had even let him mark him with his scent last time they were together. He was planning to ask to fill him with his seed the next time they made love.

But the next thing he knew, Sebastian had stopped responding to his texts. He tried to stop by the mansion, but was met with only some dumb underling who shooed him away.

That lady from black butler who wore red was hanging out with him a lot now, trying to soothe his broken heart. She was another omega, and he could tell that she was trying to get him to imprint on her.

But her taint was not Sebastian's taint. She lacked his impressively large and veiny ballsack.

No, she couldn't replace his old lover.

If he couldn't get back with Bassy, he would never taste another taint.

The red-haired man stared wistfully out of his bedroom window, longing for the taste of the taint he lusted for.

Suddenly, the phone rang and Grell started, surprised and hopeful. He picked it up gingerly, just as gingerly as he would have handled Sebastian's ballsack.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

It was Sebastian's voice and it sent a shiver of longing down Grell's spine. Down his spine and straight….to his taint!

"Hello, Handsome" Grell practically purred into the phone, expecting Bassy's normal witty reply. But. None. _Came_.

"Grell, we need to meet-"

The red-haired man squeezed his ass cheeks together in excitement and licked his lips imagining that sweet sweet taint in his wide, moist mouth.

"Oh BASSYthat'sexactlywhatIhopedyouwouldsayIhavebeenlongingtoenjoyyourcompanyagain eversincewewerepartedbyfatemydearoldBassyohhowIlookforwardtoyourtaintinmymouthandmy

Erectmembersomehowinyourmouthalthoughi'mnotentirelysurehowweactuallydothatiwasjusthopingthatwecouldandiamoverjoyedtoseethatyoufeelexcatlythesamewayand-"

"Shutup"

The phone line clicked and the call went dead. Just like the pale man's heart.

The next morning, Grell got a text from Sebastian. A time and a place and it was signed "S" and the flamboyant reaper's poor heart nearly burst with excitement.

At 2pm he met Bassy in a park. He didn't expect what came next.

"Grell. I thought you weren't interested in me anymore. I heard- on the phone- you said-"

The dark-haired man sobbed pathetically, throwing one hand in the air and tearing his tie from his suit.

"You said- you didn't want- so much – responsibility"

"Oh, Bassy, I didn't mean that at all, that's not what I meant, you are never a burden or a responsibility – shit I meant that in a good way – but I meant to say that-"

The red-haired man was cut off midsentence.

"Grell I'm. I'm pregnant."

They both stood still for a moment, then the red-haired-reapers placed one spindly hand on Sebastian's stomach. "How?"

"It's my taint. I'm….I'm too powerful." He looked ashamed.

Grell wiped the look of shame off his face as he and the dark-haired butler passionately made out. Limbs tangled and taints licked and ballsacks fuckin deep-throated and they both screamed like banshees as they ejaculated their sticky snow colored seed into the air. In the stinky scent of their love cocoon they kissed again and a small cry made them jump in alarm. Grell looked towards Sebastian's feet and they both realized that a small creature was curled up on the ground. It was pink and crying and had half red and half black hair.

"It's my taint" whispered Grell in shock.

"No Grell." Sebastian said lovingly, "It's not your taint. It's our baby."

The two lived happily ever after. THE END. (Thank Fuck)


End file.
